Monday 29 February 2016

Farmers and Showing Appreciation

Farmer cutting the grass in the late summer for winter hay


“When eating bamboo sprouts, remember the man who planted them.” — Chinese Proverb

I admire farmers even more since we moved to a house opposite a field where cows graze. Farming is more than a job it is a way of life; 365 days a year, all day, every day whatever the weather.

Farmers knowledge of the animals they care for and of the seasons is amazing. They do not earn huge amounts of money and many farmers are tenant farmers, not owning the land they live on.  We can become disconnected from the seasons and cycles of life. I am thankful for those whose lives involve daily caring for the land and for the animals in their care.

I am thankful for all who contribute to producing food and water and ensuring it is safe: farmers, transport workers, shop assistants and water engineers. I am grateful for all that I have and I am mindful of those in need.

Today: I am left with the question though, how do I show my appreciation? Do I send a note to the farmer? Do I make sure I buy food that reflects the input of the farmer, not allowing supermarkets to under- price food? Do I show my appreciation in a general way by donating to a charity or giving food to someone who is hungry? Food for thought!




Sunday 28 February 2016

Thankful for Opportunities to Learn

Calvari Steps, Pollença, Majorca.



Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you, knowing that every step forward is a step toward achieving something bigger and better than your current situation.     -- Brian Tracy

I discovered a bit more about the Dalai Lama. He believes that our enemies are good teachers. Life is certainly not straight forward. It can be challenging and full of ambiguities.

“If we are content just to think that compassion, rationality, and patience are good, that is not actually enough to develop these qualities. Difficulties provide the occasion to put them into practice. Who can make such occasions arise? Certainly not our friends, but rather our enemies, for they are the ones who pose the most problems. So that we truly want to progress on the path, we must regard our enemies as our best teachers.
For whoever holds love and compassion in high esteem, the practice of tolerance is essential, and it requires an enemy. We must be grateful to our enemies, then, because they help us best engender a serene mind! Anger and hatred are the real enemies that we must confront and defeat, not the “enemies” who appear from time to time in our lives.”

Anger can be useful when it doesn’t eat us up - when we can let it go - allow it to be a catalyst for good. Hard to do? Yes? I am certainly no saint, but a ‘work in progress! This is a definite challenge.

Actually I think friends and family, as well as 'our enemies' can hurt us too and that we can learn from them – patience, forgiveness, generosity and compassion.

Today: - What challenges or difficulties have been my ‘teachers’ and which I can give thanks for?

Saturday 27 February 2016

Thankfulness and humour

Simba playing with a gift


“You need to laugh... I don't trust anyone who doesn't laugh."
Maya Angelou (author & poet)

There are a multitude of ways of expressing gratitude and it doesn’t have to be serious.  Laughing, smiling with someone, sharing a joke, can be a way of appreciating them and bringing some lightness to their life.

When I was young my two older brothers frequently teased me, and indeed exchanged what might be considered ‘rude’ remarks. We bantered names such as ‘cheesy chops’, ‘cauliflower ears’ or ‘flannel face’. There was no malice and indeed I found it reassuring. In fact I saw it as a sign of affection. It was used equally and not as a put down but as an acceptance. Perhaps it stopped each of us from taking ourselves too seriously? We are not perfect and that is okay, we are still loved and loveable as we are.

I am very grateful for humour. It can help in relationships. Have you ever watched two people arguing about something and thought if they only stopped for a minute they would see how absurd it all is? Humour can diffuse anger and tension when used carefully (It can also mask bullying or a form of control when used to put someone down.)

The Dalai Lama for me exemplifies someone who enjoys life, frequently laughing and smiling and finding gentle humour in the everyday. He has said that he is a ‘professional at laughter’!

Today: I’m thankful for a special friend who makes me smile inspite of suffering from cancer and undergoing radiation.

Friday 26 February 2016

Gratefulness and Respect


Painting of two boys by pond


“When you practice gratefulness, there is a sense of respect towards others.” The Dalai Lama

Why is that some work is more noticeable than others? The unseen work, the day by day basic services, provide a backdrop to our daily lives and happens all around us, but we are blind.

Go out into the town centre late or early and you will see the road sweepers at work: clearing litter, emptying bins, cleaning pavements. Then there are those who work to keep the water flowing to our taps and others who work to ensure our sewage is pumped away. In public buildings and companies cleaners work late in the evening or at night when everyone else has gone home. I want to say, ‘Thank you’ to those invisible anonymous beings who help to make our towns, cities, villages and homes function so well.

After my mother died in a ward for elderly people I contacted the Ward Sister to ask her what gift would be appropriate to thank the staff for the care she received. She wrote back to say that they had never been asked that question before. People only contacted her to make complaints, never to thank her and the staff. I chose a beautiful painting for the ward and a small gift for the staff to share. My husband and I went to the ward to give it to the Ward Sister. We had to wait because she wanted the doctor there and some staff members it was such an unusual occurrence and they wanted to share it. The image above is of the painting we gave to them.

Today: I give thanks to all who work faithfully, often unseen, to make our communal lives better – postmen, road sweepers, road maintenance, canteen workers, cleaners, electricians, sewage workers, IT maintenance, dustcart workers, council gardeners, finance accountants, charity workers, food bank organisers, teachers, hospital workers … who would you add to the list?




Thursday 25 February 2016

The Transformative Power of Gratitude

View of Venice from the Grand Canal on a cold February



“Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.” — Marcel Proust

It seems that I am in good company with the idea that being thankful can enhance our lives. The University of California Berkeley are undertaking a huge research project on the power of gratefulness. They define gratitude as “an affirmation that there are good things in life and it’s an affirmation of relationships with people who give us good things”

“Gratitude is many things to many people,” Sonia Lyubomirsky writes. “It is wonder; it is appreciation; it is looking on the bright side of a setback; it is fathoming abundance; it is thanking someone in your life; it is thanking God; it is ‘counting blessings.’ It is savouring; it is not taking things for granted; it is coping; it is present-oriented.” (from her book “The How of Happiness: A New Approach to Getting the Life You Want”)

The photo above was taken one cold February when my husband took me to Venice for our 30th wedding anniversary.  The quality of light that wintry evening enhanced the beauty of the photo.

At times the world can seem a place of difficulty, uncaring and cold. Thankfulness helps to remind me of what is beautiful, kind, loving and good in my life. It changes the frame of my focus and the ‘filter’ I use. The shadows are still there, but I see the beauty too.

Today: I am thankful for all that is beautiful in my life and helps my soul to blossom, and for all those people who enhance my life.



Wednesday 24 February 2016

Thank You!




Double Rainbow Across the Field


“At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.” — Albert Schweitzer

I woke this morning feeling grumpy and went down stairs to have my breakfast. My husband asked how I was and then he wondered if he’d done anything to upset me? Well, at that stage I could have written a shopping list, but I knew that none of that was the real reason for my grumpiness.

Later when I was feeling less sorry for myself, I read an article in a magazine “When life seems at its worse and everything is going wrong find at least one thing which you can be thankful for.”

I could give a catalogue of negatives, so just one thing to be grateful should not be impossible? It wasn’t long before I realised how much I truly had to be grateful for as the list of positives grew. It is easy to become focused on what is wrong with our lives; all the woes, the fears, the difficulties can loom large and blot out the rest of the stuff.

Research suggests that we remember negative events, negative emotions, more readily than positive ones. I am sure there is a lot of truth in this. At one stage in my life when I was suffering from a bleak patch I bought a diary and decided that I would only write in it the events, the people, the interactions which were positive and enjoyable, so that if a ‘black day’ descended I could read the diary and remember that my ‘feelings’ were not the whole truth. Similarly some people have a box or jar with small pieces of paper beside it so that they can write down all the good and kind things which have happened that day. It can then be read at a later stage as a reminder.

This blog is part of my journey to develop and flex my “gratitude muscle”. Muscles decline in strength when they don’t get used.

Today: I wanted to start by saying ‘thank you’ to all my friends and family for all the love, care, kindness and encouragement you have shown to me over the years. Especially to those who have helped to rekindle the ‘spark’ within and made my soul sing.

You can donate via Justgiving - see the link on the top right hand side - one for Invest in ME and one for Macmillan Cancer Support.

There are also links to the the two charities.

I invite you to join me. Who or what are you thankful for today?

Monday 22 February 2016

Introduction



Taxis in Barcelona, Spain

 Welcome to this blog.  Joni Mitchell, a folk singer, recorded “Big Yellow Taxi” in 1970 which has the words,
“Don't it always seem to go
That you don't know what you've got
‘Til it's gone
They paved paradise
And put up a parking lot.”

I have found that illness because it deprives, takes away many aspects of a person’s life, can remind us of all that there is to be thankful for. Like Joni Mitchell’s song when something is taken away we can find ourselves seeing it differently.

Being thankful has had a sort of resurrection in recent years, but encouragement to ‘be thankful’ stretches back centuries, from early Roman philosophers to the Bible and other religious faiths. There is good research to suggest that being thankful can enhance our happiness and that of those around us. This blog is my reflections on ‘being thankful’.

I have set myself the task of writing 27 blogs with the aim of raising money for two charities, Invest in ME, which supports biological research into ME (Myalgic Encephamyolitis) which in some countries is called variously CFS (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) or CFIDS (Chronic Fatigue Immune Dysfunction Syndrome), and MacMillan Cancer Support which supports people with cancer.

Why 27? Many people run marathons to raise money for charity but as I can’t do that I am doing 27 days of blogging instead. If you enjoy the reflections please share the link with others and consider donating to one of these charities as a way of saying ‘thank you’ for all that is good in your life. At the same time I hope to stretch my own ‘gratitude’ muscles.

Please do all you can to support these worth while causes. Donations can be made on-line via Justgiving or by post.  Thank you for taking the time to read it.

Just Giving for MacMillan Cancer Support –

Just Giving for Invest in ME